Thursday, September 15, 2005

String Bet

I'm going to start this post off, and see where it goes. It will end with starving artists, so pay attention.

Former FEMA director and equestrian enthusiast Michael Brown blames everyone but himself for the Gulf Storm fiasco. He claims the States were in chaos and he forwarded that information to the White House. Good crony. Just stand there like a deer in headlights when the poo hits the fan. Glad to know the Bush Administration put the right people in the right places.

Meanwhile, not to be out-shouted by pinheads on the left (as discussed earlier on this website, Rightwingers-Against-Really Real Reality! (RARRR!) Spokesman Pat Robertson discovered who's really to blame for Hurricane Katrina: Ellen. That's right, not only is this substandard talk show host the cause of Hurricanes in the Gulf, Robertson has also said in the past that Ellen was also personally responsible for the September 11th attacks (same article). Please, Pat, stay at the microphone as long as you want.

Speaking of God, and what stupid people think of Him, out in California, home of the zaniest white people in America, they have banned the Pledge of Allegiance. By court order. Do you know how much mileage Conservatives are going to get out of this one? I do. New GOP slogan: This Republican Govermnet is brought to you by the City of San Francisco, Again!

Luckily, there are some more reasonable voices out there, reminding us all what Jesus did. Christianity isn't supposed to be easy, and it is easier for a camel to fit through the eye of a needle than it is for a rich man to get into Heaven. Oh yeah, it will also answer a question long ago asked of me as to why I liked John Edwards besides the fact that he was the only real Southerner running for President. Its there, and in a big, big way.

Back on the East Coast, the United States Senate proves again why all their offices are in the RUSOB? building by conducting the most ridiculous job interview in history on national television. We know Roberts is going to win. Please stop making rear ends of yourselves for the whole world to see. Maybe because the Senate has now made the US House of Representatives look like the mature house of our bicameral legislature, I'm just about ready to say that every single incumbent Senator needs to loose their next election. But I fear we may just end up with the same thing we have now, only in reverse. Luckily, conservo-pundit Glenn Reynolds has pretty good alternative in mind for how we should go about acquiring Senators. I'm sold.

And to work all this back to starving artists, here's another good idea, one that I've already gone over with several of my artist friends. Artists need to get on, and stay on, the ball. Just like how good is gonna triumph over evil once good learns how to fight dirty, artists are going to stop starving once they learn how to balance their checkbooks, how to price their art and how to stop undercutting one another. I betcha they'll get loads more respect from regular Joes on the street when they're making a living off of something fun, too. Providing for yourself and your family ain't selling out, y'all, its what you're supposed to be doing.

And if any effete coffee shop quarterbacks smoking their rolled cigarretes tell you that you are a sellout, remember that they are just jealous. They can't sell their art because their art sucks. Just like former FEMA cheif Michael Brown.

That's not a string bet, that's a raise.

6 comments:

Jen said...

Did I tell you I went to Monkey Love the other day hoping to meet you? They said you hadn't been around in a while. Too busy.

Thanks for the comment. Did you notice it was cut off? HaloScan only allows so many words per comment. If you don't mind, could you finish your comment in another comment box? What you said is REALLY interesting.

patsbrother said...

Unfortunately, the Pat Robertson thing isn't true. Go to snopes.com. The piece was apparently a satire.

But be damn sure I told half a dozen people about it before I found out it was false. Dammit, now I've got to go back and tell them all the truth...

Patrick Armstrong said...

The actual Pat Robertson link can be found here. You're right, this one is satire. Gotta hand it to the writers.

However, before conservatives go bonkers saying we just make this stuff up, go and read the link about why Pat Robertson saying outrageous things is credible, and his particular opinions on homosexuality as it relates to violent atmospheric convection.

Even though it is satire, it ain't that far of a stretch for someone who actually does believe in assassinating sitting Presidents, nuking the State Department and that Americans are to blame for September 11th.

Pat Robertson is still the spokesman for Rightwingers Against Really Real Reality! (RARRR!) and I dare any conservative to step up and defend his ideas with me in the room. I think I've already knocked that one out of the park.

Meredith said...

Glad I didn't post yesterday (thought about it). That just seemed a little too nutty, even for him.

As for the starving artist article, I agree with him(and already did). We've been trying to get the powers that be to offer a business class for artists at UGA. They have at least one course on it at other Art schools, but none here as of yet. Still working on it though.

S.A.W.B. said...

Wow, you proved that Pat Robertson is a nutjob? That's an amazing feat paT!. That's like me proving that Michael Moore is a fat idiot...

Good 'win' for your side though...

Patrick Armstrong said...

You'd be amazed at how many folks come up to me in a week that think Pat Robertson is quite reasonable. Its actually more people than have been influenced by the New York Times.

Hah!

Besides, with Cindy Sheehan still out there, I need all the wins I can get.