Friday, December 16, 2005

Battle Ready

Hope all y'all livin' to the north of the 31st parallel are safe and warm and not playin' slip and slide on icy roads. Now on to this Friday's big 'Revolt Roundup.'

The Iraqis had a revolt of their own this week, for any of us out there with our heads in the sand, where it didn't really matter who they voted for because every single individual who showed up at the polls was voting against terrorism just by being there. And with a voter turnout higher than most of our own elections, that could seriously be called a 'ringing endorsement.' That's a pretty important thing, probably a turning point in the war, and I'm kinda angry it still isn't front page news everywhere. That will be today's lead story.

Some folks want to point out that a lot of the Sunni population (and probably a significant number of Shi'a & Kurds) showed up to vote because it may get the U.S. out of Iraq quicker. I was really hoping that was the plan all along, and I'd like to say that I'm glad they're on board now. I may have to eat some serious crow for this one, but if this nation building experiment ends up with the Iraqis voting us out of the country, we (all Americans) win big. I'd much rather have them voting against us than shooting at our boys and girls in the green and guns.

Back on the homefront, while we've got a big win in Iraq, we may loose New Orleans. (Again, actually.) That's right, there's talk of civil disobedience by blockading the Mississippi river on Sunday.

It is time to make the historic Boston Tea Party merely a white glove affair. For the NEW ORLEANS FLOAT(ING) PARTY lets wear boxing gloves instead. NEW ORLEANS existed before it was part of the United States. It can do so again. Gentle Readers, it is time for revolt. And we hold the cards.

GulfSails points out that if the Florida Keys can get away with it by forming the Conch Republic by seceding from the Union, New Orleans may have a shot.

That's right folks, and this stuff was news to me, the Florida Keys/Conch Republic has warred with the United States of America three times since April 23, 1982.

After the complaints from the Key West City Council went unanswered by the Federal Government and attempts to get an injunction against the "blockade" failed in court, Key West mayor Dennis Wardlow and the city council declared the independence of the Conch Republic on April 23, 1982. Since the Federal Government had set up the equivalent of a border station as if the Keys were a foreign nation, they said, the Keys might as well become one. Mayor Wardlow was proclaimed Prime Minister of the republic, which declared war against the U.S. (symbolically breaking a loaf of stale Cuban bread over the head of a man in a navy uniform), quickly surrendered (after one minute), and applied for foreign aid (in the amount of one billion dollars). These actions generated great publicity for the Keys' plight. The roadblock and inspection station were removed soon afterward.

Don't believe me? Go to Key West on April 23 when they celebrate Independence Day. We may have to throw a solidarity party for our Island brothers and sisters. (Hey, we celebrate Cico de Mayo, too.)

Speaking of revolt, but not the funny kind, Australia is gearing up for the biggest scrum in rugby history, 'cause hooligans (of all races) are planning the mother of all dust ups this Sunday. Australia's government is expressing what could be considered 'displeasure' at this news:

Up to 1,500 police, triple the current number on the beat, will be on the streets on Saturday and 2,000 on Sunday.
“There will be lockdown areas. There will be areas where alcohol can not be consumed or purchased,” said NSW Police Minister Carl Scully.
“There will be roadblocks and cars confiscated and people arrested. It will be zero tolerance. We will not put up with any nonsense,” Scully told local radio.

I do hope France is taking notes...

And while all that crazy stuff is going on elsewhere in the world, the place where I live has our own problems to deal with..." Front page news, this.


patsbrother said...

Anybody else see this Australia deal as the kitschy Lurhman Romeo + Juliet on steroids, minus Queen Mab?

I don't mean to sound flippant, but these people have seen movies, right? Not even the glitsy power of Hollywood and its attendant drive for victory on film have ever been able to end this scenario on an up note. Most notable, for its dramatic representation of real events: Sir Richard Attenborough's Gandhi. Two lines of people, one Muslim, one Hindu, stretching for miles converge in violence because one dumb fool decides to run out into the space between them to throw something.

Here's hoping the Australian powers that be regulate and take names. As Ed would say: Git 'em!

Dante said...

Maybe the folks blocking the Mississippi could also not buy gasoline that day. It'd be a double-whammy. They could show the government and those lousy oil companies at the same time!

Never heard of the Conch Republic? Pat my friend, you just don't watch nearly enough obscure TV. There was a short-lived series on FOX in the early 90's called Key West. It came on Tuesdays so it was probably slaughtered by the ratings Goliath that was Roseanne. It starred Fisher Stephens and Jennifer Tilly. Back to the actual point, there was an episode (or maybe a two-parter) that revolved around the whole Conch Republic thing. The mayor planned to seceed yet again from the US. I can't remember why. They did go over (rather factually) the history of the Conch Republic.