Wednesday, May 31, 2006

The Most Important News You Will Read

Found this one on the front page of MSNBC this morning. It was in my 'recommended stories,' and I really am wondering how it got there.

At any rate, the Washington Post (or "WP" as I sometimes read) went decidedly "WB" for this one, a 4 Page Monster Article on the Art of being a Wingman.

You know the wingman. He's the guy who accompanies his buddy to a bar to help him pick up babes. He does whatever it takes to give his friend some time alone with the girl of choice: telling flattering lies about him, enticing away the sidekick girlfriend, running interference at the approach of a rival male.

He's like the fighter pilot flying beside and slightly behind the lead pilot in a hostile environment -- thus the term.

I hadn't quite finished my morning coffee before reading these words. I wondered how I had gotten so lost from the real news, but it was too late. Like a car accident, I was now unable to stop reading this article.

Though I know what the "wingman" is, I have never, ever thought of it as "A mutual back-and-forth man love." (I actually thought that's what the wingman was supposed to help his buddy avoid....) I definitely would never refer to it as such. But the brilliant seniors at George Washington University just aren't as prudish as I am, I reckon.

I am also wary of the phrase "spit game," and find myself unfortunate to have come across this phrase more than twice in the last week when folks who appeared to be grown used it as vernacular. Maybe I'm just being elitist.

But the greatest media blunder involving this article comes from the following observation on Page 3, Duties of the Wingman:
As questionable as some of their tactics sound, wingmen profess to have a moral code when it comes to their buddies. One rule is, don't say something embarrassing about your friend to the girl he's after, even if it makes you look witty.

I don't think that's true at all.

Then again, Maybe I'm just being a hater. I gotta learn to let a playa play.

Fo' shizzle


petallic said...

In other, older, more traditional terms, I believe we would call you a cockblocker.

Dante said...

Interesting that Petallic should throw ou that term because my football-oriented mind uses the term "blocker" instead of "wingman." I was always a pretty good blocker but we didn't go making schemes or anything. I just hopped in when I saw a buddy trying to pick up a girl and having a hard time of it due to someone else. My typical avenue of attack was to keep the interference from getting a word in edge-wise conversationally and maybe make fun of them a bit or expose them if they were trying to act like they knew more than they did about a particular subject. Then when they got frustrated and went elsewhere, so did I.

Patrick Armstrong said...

I would argue that the difference between a "cockblocker" and a "hater" is intent.

A CB (to continue the football refrences) only embarasses his buddy when they are trying to pick up chicks. Most often this occurs when two males are actually competing for female attention.

A true hater never actually stops embarassing the buddies, mixed company or not.