Monday, April 16, 2007

War on Really Real History

Viral Emails Again Destroying Common American History

So, the other day I get this email from one of my best friends:

Who is Barack Obama?- Interesting Who is Barack Obama?
U. S. presidential candidate, Barack Hussein Obama was born in Honolulu, Hawaii, to Barack Hussein Obama, Sr., a black Muslim from Nyangoma-Kogel, Kenya and Ann Dunham, a white atheist from Wichita, Kansas. Obama's parents met at the University of Hawaii. When Obama was two years old, his parents divorced. His father returned to Kenya. His mother then married Lolo Soetoro, a radical Muslim from Indonesia. When Obama was 6 years old, the family relocated to Indonesia. Obama attended a Muslim school in Jakarta. He also spent two years in a Catholic school. Obama takes great care to conceal the fact that he is a Muslim. He is quick to point out that, "He was once a Muslim, but that he also attended Catholic school." Obama's political handlers are attempting to make it appear that Obama's introduction to Islam came via his father, and that this influence was temporary at best. In reality, the senior Obama returned to Kenya soon after the divorce, and never again had any direct influence over his son's education. Lolo Soetoro, the second husband of Obama's mother, Ann Dunham, introduced his stepson to Islam. Obama was enrolled in a Wahabi school in Jakarta. Wahabism is the radical teaching that is followed by the Muslim terrorists who are now waging Jihad against the western world. Since it is politically expedient to be a Christian when seeking major public office in the United States, Barack Hussein Obama has joined the United Church of Christ in an attempt to downplay his Muslim background.

This email is certainly interesting, because it touches on almost every one of the 'culture warriors' turns of phrase to scare the crap out of their base and turn them out against the guy: muslim father (terrorist), atheist mother (angry man-hating liberal), interracial marriage (loose morals), divorce (loose morals), radical-muslim stepfather (terrorist), living abroad (terrorist, America hating), attendance at a Muslim school (terrorist), attendance at a Catholic school (papist, America hating), political handlers (member of political class), political expedient Christianity (non-real Christian because he doesn't agree with us).

I'm actually impressed they were actually able to get all that in in one short email, but it don't stop there: "Wahabi school in Jakarta. Wahabism is the radical teaching that is followed by the Muslim terrorists who are now waging Jihad against the western world."

First of all, geniuses, it is Wahabbism. Second of all, the main sponsor states of Wahabbism, the "radical teaching" of those "now waging Jihad against the western world" are our 'allies in the GWOT': Saudi Arabia, Pakistan and Afganistan. Matter of fact, Wahabbism didn't really get exported from the Arabian Peninsula until the Soviet invasion of Afganistan.

Indonesia's biggest problem during that time - like most developing nations at that time - wasn't radical Islam, it was radical Communism v Reactionism as folks were slaughtering each other on those ideological grounds as opposed to religious ones.

Don'tcha miss them good ole days?

Anyway, I bring this up now - long after the initial hoopla over this nonsense because it came into my email inbox just last week, as the result of a well meaning friend emailing a well meaning friend who emailed my cranky ass about it. He has been "reply button flogged" already, the step right before "reply all button flogged." Like the well intentioned individuals who emailed me the "Germany didn't attack the US in WWII" sewage and the "North Dakota had it worse than New Orleans" filth*, I can't stand that smart people are just falling for it.

I say this again and again, the war on history being waged for political gain in this country is causing us to loose hold on reality and wander into realms of fantasy. We're not burning books, we're just not believing them because the viral emails are telling us not to. I hope I am not the only one shocked by this.

*Which is now remaking the rounds, AGAIN as the "Colorado Biblical Blizzard of 44 inches vs New Orleans" email.

Update April 17th, 00:03 AM CDT

Oh yeah, the new "historical blizzard" nonsense can be traced to those serious fact checkers over there at, or their blog anyway. Look at the date, posted 2007 - January.

Now go and look at this. Dated April 2006.

Makes me wonder if any of these blizzards actually happened.

That's right, y'all, just in case you didn't notice, the people who are arguing against Federal disaster help are lying liars, inventing make believe northern storms and bad analogies to lead the American public astray via viral emails.

Un. Be. Leive. Able. Well, it was until about August 29th, 2005. Since I grew up so close to Florida and the Carolinas, I thought the United States of America, the most powerful nation in the history of mankind, would do what it always does for disaster victims, despite geographic propensity for said disasters to reoccur: rebuild quickly and efficiently. I mean, I simply assumed that's what would happen because that's what they do for Florida and the Carolinas every two years.

I never got CC'ed the executive order that the whole 'Federal Union' thing was dissolved in the event of unfortunate and expensive disasters. As a Southerner, I would have remembered that one, I assure you. Bells ringing, indeed. Townhall, however, they were in that mailing, with a first edition, autographed copy, apparently.

I sure hope Island City and Savannah are paying attention right now, because we got less than 50 days to come up with the 'what happens if it lands in our backyard' plan, and we lose everything between the St John's River and Victory Drive.

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