Sunday, July 29, 2007

I Can Has a National Language?

For everyone out there who thinks making English the national language of the United States of America will solve any real problem whatsoever (because it will solve a host of make-believe problems, all thought up, as strange as this sounds, by the people who want English to be the national language), I present two glaring English words that will henceforth be used together as 'exhibit A' to explain why you will lose the argument:

Popular Culture.

If there is anyone out there who really wants English to the be national language, and they are not just manufacturing some controversy to blame on political opponents, they need to meet someone who really follows these rules. For example, there is someone very close to me who sometimes spends up to 75% of his day loudly correcting other people's use of the English language in the most obnoxious and grating ways he can come up with. At least he does when I'm around.

I'm serious, his face twitches every time he speaks the term "y'all." He doesn't notice. It is like watching a new socioligical debate called "nurture vs culture."

Moral of the story: if you want to advocate for a national language, please make sure your own culture and native speakers of said language don't already spend their time hacking apart said language. And be prepared to be corrected all day, every day, every time you switch "its" for "it's," and hearing someone constantly tell you, "no, what you really meant to say was...."

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