Friday, February 01, 2008

People of Mississippi: You'll Have to Eat Out of State

Smoking Gun has uncovered a proposed bill for the Mississippi state legislature that would prohibit people who are obese according to the state health department from eating at restaurants and fast food outlets and anywhere else that has seating for 5 or more. Do they really want to open that door? Have you been to Mississippi? They'd have to shut down all eateries in the state. I know restaurant workers would find glee in saying, "Sorry fat***, you'll have to eat elsewhere." That fat couple always leaves lousy tips anyways. You know they do. But what about all the Denny's and Ryan's in Mississippi? This would be their death knell. Truck stops would also go under as truckers would have to go on to the next state to grab a bite. Would Mr. Bullhorn have to man the salad to bars to remind people when they've had enough food?

I propose an alternative to this legislature: physical challenge. Serve the obese customers but only after they've gone through some sort of obstacle course or other state-approved feat of strength. You could even have a mercy rule allowing for the obese person to eat after actively attempting the course for a certain amount of time. It would provide them us with exercise and would provide fellow eaters with plenty of amusement. Sure it would cost a lot to implement but it would be cheaper than turning away all the fatties.

1 comment:

ruby said...

if i'm reading the bill correctly, there's nothing to stop fast food joints from simply getting rid of their interior seating and then selling food to everybody at the drivethru -- a loophole that makes the already bizarre and idiotic potential legislation also completely counterproductive, since the restaurants for which that would be easiest are the ones with the most fattening foods.