Monday, March 10, 2008

Rage Against

It is amazing how sometimes you can go for a long time in a funk, and it only takes one event to absolutely re-inject the energy of the old life into you. Since I started working at my latest job, I have literally lost so much of what I was. I no longer cook. I rarely play music. I hardly ever write. It is difficult to keep up with news and popular culture the way I used to. I never get to read blogs anymore. I sleep a lot. I rarely speak with old friends. I don't speak with new friends about anything other than work. I don't get a lot of things done. I can't see far into the future.

It is like watching one of those "you may be depressed" commercials, and I hate pity parties. It was said at dinner several weeks ago that if anyone did a study, you'd find a high percentage of ArrEssDee teachers were clinically depressed. That got a big laugh.

64 school days left until this experiment is over and I find my way back to a real life. I distinctly remember leaving the service industry for this because I thought it would be more mature and more like a 'real job' than cooking.

I got to tell you, having seen the elephant now, I think the "teacher shortage" has waay more to do with the fact that teaching is kind of a shitty job rather than about shitty pay. I mean, yeah, there's a lot of 'bleeding heart' bullshit about 'doing it for the kids' and 'making a difference,' but when it boils down to it, teaching is a profession. The bottom line is: treat it like one and you will start to see results.

It is hard to think we could see results with the system we have now, no matter how many well intentioned individuals with better hearts and more politically correct mouths than me get invovled at the teaching level and are doing it "for the kids."

And I work at a great school, situationally speaking. Our teachers are all-in. The administration is amazing. The staff is so chock-full of amazing people, I've literally never worked with a better group at any time in my life. And when the folks who know me hear that, they know that's saying a lot. I've told other teachers from other schools where I work, and their response to me has been, and I quote: "f*** you."

And that floors me. It floors me because I don't have what it takes to handle this kind of thing at my good school (situationally speaking) with my amazing team and these other folks are making it work at rougher schools and in more desperate situations. But that's part of the problem, too.

You can hope for a miracle, but you gotta plan for a disaster.

So what set this off was a football game on Friday. Just a little backyard-style, bragging rights only, two-hand touch football game. I played rather well for someone my age, and I guess the excitement reminded me of the life I used to have. It has been a banner 4 days since then, and some of that old swagger seems to be back. I hope it will stick around. These rants can be fun.

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Oh, and if anyone is wondering about the score from the football game Friday, the result was Them 14 - We 21.

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1 comment:

Leigh C. said...

((((((hugs))))))

Hang in there, man. It DOES need to be treated as a profession, because it's damned hard. Whoever coined that idiot expression that "those who cannot do, teach" was an asshole. Those who cannot teach have no damn right to cast those kinds of stones.