Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Big Brother's Blind Side

Some of our citizens fear for our safety. Other citizens fear our government. The American solution? Only half of the surveliance cameras that we pay for should work at any given time.

What, you thought stuff like this only happened in New Orleans?

And to keep both security threats and government guessing as to which cameras are actually effective, we've put them under the control of government contractors, while the people engage in a "big government vs. small government" debate.

Heckuva system we got here, yeah?

This is why, as I get older, Ray Bradbury's Farenheit 451 and other "Big Brother" themed literature seems less and less threatening. In our current reality, burning all the books in America would be an enourmous task, and we'd bid it out to contractors with suspect track records.

You'd have some low bidders that don't get the temperature to 451 degrees. Others that would claim to have burned books that didn't exist in the first place to make their quotas. Some businesses would try to hire illegal immigrants because burning books is "work Americans don't want to do;" or they'd try shipping books to India and China and Taiwan to be burned over there.

China would send us toxic drywall made from the ashes.

Democrats would be beholden to union book burning organizations whose exorbitant benefit packages mean less time spent burning books and lower quality fires. Republicans would not like government involvement in book burning, turning instead to market based solutions where only the upper class could afford to burn their books. You can see where the whole theme goes off the rails very quickly.


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