Oh, to be a child again, and to explore the wonders of categorization far from the prying eyes of adults. If you don't see the humor in this, I just don't know what to do with you.
All I have to say is Thank the Risen Lord we didn't have internet when I was in 3rd grade.
The follow up post, which includes the phrase "Here are some different bitches in a white, Internet-savvy vernacular", is additional required reading. The whole thing. The comment from the DC teacher = For. The. Epic. Win.