Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Peach Flavored Microchips

Of all the legislative bills to come out of committee this year in Georgia, this is da winnah.

Last Wednesday, the House Judiciary Committee entertained SB 235, the bill sponsored by Sen. Chip Pearson (R-Dawsonville) to prohibit the involuntary implantation of microchips in human beings.

But wait. It gets better. There are explanations and precedent (three states have already banned the involuntary implantation of microchips into human beings) and even religious justifications.

The duly-elected Georgian legislators responsible for this are careful to note that their bill has nothing to do with religious reasons. It is all an attempt to stop future government intrusion into individual privacy.

They even brought forward a witness/victim, who claims to be one of the Georgians affected by the widespread phenomenon of involuntary microchip implantation. The US Department of Defense is responsible, according to her testimony. No word at this time if actual factual, physical or medical evidence has been presented.

Do you need to guess which political party's membership these legislators are embarassing today? Yup. They are Republicans. Continuting their crusade against percieved and future threats from the Islamic Republic of MakeBelievistan, Hog Fing Warts School of Witchcraft & Academic Totalitarianism and the constitutionally elected United States government.

Georgia's Democratic gubernatorial frontrunner has not wasted time including this in his campaign:

the bill has become a routine example of the Republican tendency to attack problems that don’t exist, and ignore the ones that do. Besides, Barnes argues, if someone holds him down to insert a microchip in his head, “it should be more than a damned misdemeanor.”

While I know the vast majority of conservatives and Repbulcians find this delusional behavior despicable in the face of real problems, I must take this opportunity to parse from talk radio and right wing blogs by asking:

If Repbulicans truly don't support this type of legislation, why aren't their national leaders denouncing it as loudly as possible? Could this relatively obscure issue become a plank on the mainstream Republican platform in just a few years? And why isn't the media covering this story?

And, yeah, I'm going to as much mileage as I can out of this one. Unbelievably, the legislation made it out of committee...there are still several steps before it becomes LAW.



Dante said...

So out of curiosity, do you agree or disagree with the legislation?

Cousin Pat from Georgia said...

Nice. If I say "I disagree," I'm rhetorically on the side of the aliens, secret government organziations and implanting people with microchips. If I say "I agree," I'm ideologically inconsistent.

This is the most awesome thing, politically, about so much legislation about percieved, future or make-believe problems.

To answer you: I despise this type of legislation for just the reasons outlined. If someone tries to implant me with a microchip against my will, they are already breaking several laws that are arrestable offenses. Not only that, but they are inviting a mighty damaging lawsuit.

Unless the Republicans are attempting to reduce my ability to have massive punitive damages assesed against the perpetrators.

Finally, this legislation is nearly unenforcable (which is one of my red flags), as neither the Georgia State Patrol nor the Georgia Bureau of Investigation has access to the types of spacecraft needed to apprehend the violators.

Dante said...

You know, I thought I had heard this story a long time ago. Turns out I did. California did something very similar back in 2007.

And can you guess which party's membership those legislators were embarrassing? Yup. They were Democrats. Continuing their crusade against perceived and future threats from the First Goliath Super Mega Bank, the Fourth Reich, and of course Wal-Mart.

And my question wasn't meant to be a trap. I find it a fascinating if not immediately relevant topic. I was curious of your opinion. Here's a 2007 article showing a few then-current uses of the technology. I really wish I could find the article I read back then. The thing that stuck out in my mind was that some bars overseas were using them to run bar tabs on. It also had a few other then-current uses I have long since forgotten.

This bill doesn't just make forced implantation illegal. It also makes requiring implantation for things like employment illegal as well. That is what I imagine will be its most immediate impact. Well... that and the decline of alien abductions in the state of Georgia.