Saturday, January 12, 2008

Good Thing I'm From Georgia

Because otherwise I might be pissed.

I mean, that must be the reason I haven't gotten my check for $425,000, right? A simple matter of residency is all. And here I thought the check was going to be delivered the same time as my limosine. I am a liberal, after all, so I was expecting the check and the ride long before now.

Oh, well. It is a little disheartening to know that being From Georgia is keeping me from my $425K payday (Thanks! American Taxpayers), but I take heart in the fact that no other Americans with any sort of media credibility are actively engaged in the pursuit of public policy to wipe my home off the map. I mean, if some West Coast nutcase with a Univeristy of California - Berkeley degree declared, for all intents and purposes, that Federal government organizations should start blowing up the infrastructure in and around Atlanta as a matter of course, I'd have a few choice words to say.

Luckily for the nutcase, if he had said it about Atlanta, most of the folks there would just laugh at him. I mean, we hardly take Neil Boortz seriously, this guy is small pecans. In New Orleans, nerves are a little more raw right now. It has something to do with the fact that few of them have taken delivery of their $425,000 checks here, two years and change since they pulled off this "scam."

(I mean, according to Ann Coulter, all those "9/11 Widows" pulled off a similar scam back in 2001, Ol' Dubya pulled the "weapons of mass destruction" fast one, so why couldn't the folks down here pull off this whole "Katrina Disaster" thing? You pick NOW to catch on?)

Maybe that's hitting a little bit below the belt. But are you kidding me? Is this what passes for American civil discourse these days? Who are these people?

I knew that the news that some coo-coo for coco puffs knucklehead had filled out a litigation form in crayon and sued the United States government for a few quadrillion dollars would couple with the New Orleans haters out there in the elsewhere and end up giving us such gems of American solidarity as this and this.

Though, I'm glad to know that the right wing takes the plantiff's equivalent of Dr. Evil so seriously.

It is a crying shame people still read this nonsense. Luckily, none of the nearly 2 million volunteers to New Orleans and the Gulf Coast did. The America I grew up in didn't abandon cities to disaster, and for the most part, we still don't. We never called the folks of south Florida for "sucking on the teat" after Andrew in 1992. We didn't begrudge the Carolinas' cleanup after Floyd spilled all that hog waste into their drinking water back in 1999. We didn't tell Florida to take a hike back in 2004 when that place got hit with 4 hurricanes in one year. Because we're Americans who understand the term "E Pluribus Unum" and we don't need to thump our chests to prove how patriotic we are, we hammer roofing nails and hang drywall for family, friends and strangers because we get it.

Oh yeah, one more thing, especially for all you who are sitting around thinking about how slimy and bad and teat-suckling us Southerners are: No Americans get voted off this island, we answered that question, as a nation, very, very loudly back in 1865. But if you would like to revisit that particular issue, if you are sooo tired of dealing with your fellow Americans, if having us as a part of your "more perfect Union" is somehow harshing your West-Coast-Penthouse-editing-self-righteousness mellow, just secede.

And don't let the door hit you on the ass on your way out.

Update: Many thanks for the traffic being directed here from:

Oyster (and a big HT to him for picking up on this topic)
Ashley Morris (whose rant is a true beauty, and I am humbled to be quoted in the closing remarks of that one)
And Gentilly Girl

Also responding to the nutcases are (so far):

Animamundi & Dangerblond (who just finished Law School at Loyola)

And, if you want to see just how insane some of these people who begrudgingly share a nation with us are, please check out the vitriolic comments over at the American Digest nonsense that started this thread. Patently disgusting.

Double Update: Here's what even more people who begrudgingly share a nation with us had to say. Reckon the view is nice from out there in the cheap seats, hunh?

1 comment:

Marco said...

It's all there. Right out in the open. Thanks for the mention. I sent Ashley his Penthouse-profile via you. He's going to love that.