Monday, April 30, 2007

The Power of Words

I was flipping up and down the radio dial yesterday, and I happened across Hannity's radio show. A caller was mentioning that "If the Democrats had been with us since the beginning, we'd probably have won [in Iraq] already."

I've heard this a few times before, and I always ask "Uhh, What?"

First of all, I thought we already had won in Iraq: in 1991 we won in 100 hours, in 2003 we won in less than 100 days, and several other times in between and after, we could have honestly and truthfully declared an overwhelming military victory.

I also missed the day in high school civics class where we learned that the minority Party of Congress* runs our nation's wars, and that he who held the postion entitled "Commander in Chief" was not responsible for our military policy. I guess an appropriate response to "if the Democrats had been with us we'd have won already" line is "if the Republicans weren't idiots braying at the moon, we'd a won this thing already."

It ain't no Democrats' fault that this President couldn't close a screen door, and decided to take on the Middle East. It ain't the Democrats' fault he has no idea what he's doing in this Mission-Accomplished-But-Not-Quite-Finished-And-We-Can't-Figure-Out-Why-Strategy.

Lady, if every one of the 150 million or so Democratic voters in this country had committed Seppukku in 2003, Ol' Dubya would still have us in this exact position we are in [in Iraq]. Except Donald Rumsfeld would still be Secretary of Defense.

The oversimplifications and outright fabrications surrounding this conflict just drive me flat out crazy, and probably have far more to do with us "not winning this war we've already won" than anyone who stands up and says "give peace a chance."

For example: "This spending bill is very important, and affects troops on the front lines," our President says.

"If the most kickass military on the planet is operating on a six week provisional materiel and ordinance budget, we are in a lot more trouble, as a functioning Republic, than I previously thought possible," says I. What is our supply plan, genius: we get the money from Congress, go online to Weapons Depot and FedEx the howitzer rounds to the front lines?

Thank God this guy wasn't President in 1861.

It is like talking to crazy people. Your Right Hand Thief makes note of this today, and asks some real questions. Too bad the MSM people who make the big dollars don't have the cajones to ask questions like those. We are then linked over to Cunning Realist, who points to one reason we are still at this political and social impasse in America: it is the language, stupid.


* - Except for the last four months.

Sunday, April 29, 2007

When I Become a Tyrant

Most of the time, I'm a pretty hell-rasin' individualistic fella. Individual rights and civil liberties are very, very high on my list of things to protect. This comes from the keening within my Southern blood, my blood-red-clay-content, I am sure. I believe, like Jefferson stated, that due process of law and a system of courts are sometimes the only things that can keep a nation faithful to its constitution and laws.

I try very, very hard to maintain that line of thought when looking at a peice of information or a policy decision. Because sometimes, too often it seems, my initial reaction to things like this would border on the tyrannical.

Hmmm, the property rights of the very few vs. the property rights, national security, economic sustainability of the many, many, many; perhaps even the Republic itself. I know what my knee jerk reaction is, anyway.

Luckily, being a thinking creature, I can come away from the immediacy of the media piece and begin to roll the idea around in my head. What compromises could be offered, what accords could be met, what necesary actions must be taken to make sure that we end up without a zero sum game and that all fortunes, in this case especially, rise a little higher?

Comix

Who needs the Sunday paper's comics when you have the internet? This just goes to show that the internet's greatest use will be the mass diffusion of irreverent humor.

"To: Commander of Trojan Forces...."

"Lifeboats hold 1100"

Do not be drinking coffee when reading these, it may end up all over your computer...

Update" Even funnier stuff. Beware.

Thursday, April 26, 2007

Woot-Off

Prepare yourselves for the greatest idea in e-commerce history. Today is a woot-off. For those not familiar, Woot is a Texas-based company that typically sells one item every day at a fair to excellent discount. You never know what the item is going to be ahead of time. At midnight central the new item shows up and sells until it is gone. Then you have to wait until the next day for the next Woot item.

But then there's the magical woot-off. A woot-off is a continual stream of Woot items being sold over the course of 1-3 days. There is always an active item you can purchase. Once it sells out, the next item is displayed. There are some incredible deals in there but there are also some stinkers. Right now there's a left-handed putter going for $39.99. So for now we have to wait for someone who is left-handed, golfs, visits Woot, and wants this club in order to get to the next item.

So far today's best deal was a 32" LCD TV for $450 plus $5 shipping (It's always $5 shipping). Usually during the course of the woot-off there will be at least one Bag of Crap offering. The Bag of Crap is a random item Woot sends you that is worth at least $1. 9 times out of 10 it's a USB memory stick or some promotional item. Sometimes it's high grade merchandise like a projector, computer, TV, etc. These are quite popular. There's also the Woot monkey. The Woot monkey is a stuffed monkey who has a cape and can be fired off like a slingshot using his arms. The Woot monkey makes a screaming noise while in flight. If you can beat the rush and get your hands on one, it's well worth the $3 each plus $5 shipping.

Even if you don't have the compulsive personality type to enjoy this experience properly, you should at least visit so you can listen to the Wootcast (right underneath the "I Want One" button) and read an item description or two. If you're in the Athens area, 960 the Ref ususally keeps you updated on the current Woot item during their local shows.

(Please note that I am in no way affiliated with Woot. I just think it's the greatest e-commerce site on earth.)

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

Party of Death

It brings back memories of many conversations with members of my family and some of my friends. The words used absolutely boggle my mind, as these people who freely associate with me will stand next to me, hand me a beer, and then suggest that I somehow support terrorism and the destruction of the United States of America.

Me. Personally. Because my voting record lines up with more similarities to the Democratic Party.

The comparisons go on. According to the narrative, I also support the wholesale slaughter of not only my countrymen, but also babies. I have been told that I prefer not to put murderers in jail, and would rather have them roaming the streets, armed, while regular citizens (like me) remain unarmed. Furthermore, they say, I despise my own religion and all followers of it, and glorify the religions of others at the expense of my own.

Me. Personally. Because my voting record lines up with more similarities to the Democratic Party.

At first, this line of thought directed towards me from people whom I love was terribly, dismally hurtful. How could these people, who say they are proud of my accomplishments, who say they want me to visit them more and spend more time with them, who say they want to hear what is going on in my life and express concern for my general well being, invite a monster such as me into their homes and lives?

Should I not be shunned? Kept away from their children? Beaten from their homes? Tried as a traitor and as an aider and abbetor to the enemy?

Me. Personally.

At some point, it goes beyond hurt into absolute fascination. What did I do this week? Oh, went down to Super Secret Liberal Takeover Headquarters, sharpened some knives, and planned our next big move to destroy the country. You guys are really screwing up by letting me stay alive, at this point.

Because my voting record lines up with more similarities to the Democratic Party.

Now, Rudy is in on it, too. He's dispensing with the pleasantries, and going straight for the jugular. It does not matter that America has dealt with enemies, foreign and domestic, in the past. It does not matter that those enemies have not cared one whit about what political party was in power. It does not matter that we will be attacked again, and again, and again, from enemies foreign and domestic, over the course of our continued history as a Union, as we were in 1861, 1917, 1941, 1982, 1992, 1993, 1999, 2001, and last week in Blacksburg, Virginia. It does not matter that no political party or Presidential administraion has ever, ever, ever gotten it right on everything having to do with security. It does not matter that Rudy doesn't actually have a proven plan of keeping us safe to draw these comparisons from.

None of that matters, because, according to Rudy, in 2008, I will be voting to kill Americans.

Me. Personally.

Because I damn sure will not be voting for him.

Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Grasping At Straws

And Breaking Backs

In international news, weird stuff continues to happen regarding the Islamic Republic of Iran. Just weeks after their stunning capture of British Royal Marines on the high seas, the incomprehensible dog and pony show that followed, and the eventual release of those folks, for no visible or logical strategic or psychological gain, The President goes and orders this sort of thing.

They're shaking down women for dressing too liberally.

(Now, while right-wing-faerie-dust-sniffing punditry may yammer about how awful this is, and how it proves how crazy Iran is, I would just like to offer this reminder that Saudi Arabia remains -at this time- our 'ally' in the GWOT, and they are far, far, far worse to their women over there in that wealthy little piece of real estate.)

But here's what this tells me: Ahmedinejad the Beard is grasping at straws to stay in power. His statments about the US & Israel? Provocative. Encouraging an us vs them mentality already acutely felt in the Islamic Republic due to the fact that they are surrounded by Sunni-run nations. This also plays to his base, the hard line folks. The capture of the Royal Marines (which SAWB and I spoke of not making any real sense) was an attempt to keep the nation unified against outside enemies, and keep minds off the fact that a nation so rich in resources is going through economic problems. Now this, the re-introduction of codes of behavior that were relaxed under his predecessor. Another play, strictly to his base, and one that will piss off the most dynamic demographic in Iran: those young folks whose support allowed his predecessor's reforms to take shape.

The bullies may yet be at the helm if the Islamic Republic, but as the Iranian people have proven several times in the second half of the 20th Century, they ain't a population afraid to rise up and get rid of a government that's pissing them off.

Even if they have to do it at the ballot box.

Saturday, April 21, 2007

And the Truth Shall Set You Free

I just want to scream the scream of someone vindicated by the NFL's instant reply challenge. But, then again, I already had this conversation when I was back east in Georgia. The question posed: "Why rebuild a city under sea level."

Answer: "Well, because it isn't under sea level, for one. Not even half of it."

I mean, c'mon, George W. Bush didn't even get half and he got to be President of the United States of America.

Snide commentary aside, the above response was not believed by the questioner*. This would not have been too agitating had we been standing anywhere other than 30 inches above sea level at the time, on Island City, Georgia, that positions uncounted millions of dollars worth of property tax base an average of five feet above sea level. And our second largest industry is golf.

But I did discover the way to win that argument: We** rebuild Florida every two years, and they keep building landfill off the sides of that state, and then putting uncounted millions of dollars worth of insured homes on said land. Repeat this again and again and again and you eventually win the argument. Not a usual win, but a "You're right, I'm wrong, you win" win. Victory utter and total.

Any 'conservative' in America who hesitates when asked "should we rebuild New Orleans," should then have to answer the question, "Well, what about Florida?" They're either with us or they're with the hurricanes. Louisiana has an important amount of the strategic oil and natural gas piplines running through the place. Florida has a giant cartoon mouse who marries homosexuals. They must either commit, in principle, to rebuilding New Orleans, Florida, and anywhere else unfortunate enough to straddle that strategic fault line called the ocean; or they must publicly state that they are ready and willing to give Florida back to the Seminoles, alligators and hurricanes, and they're ready to watch MLB spring training in Detroit in March.

Outside.

* The questioner also professed his love for "how liberal" I was, but asked me when I was going to grow out of it. That's right, NOLA bloggers, down here I'm considered so conservative they call me a 'right winger.' On Island City, they call me a communist. While. We're. Tee-ing. Off. At. Oak. Grove.

** As in the great Republic "WE." As in the United (key word) States of America.

Friday, April 20, 2007

Welcome: Kansas City.Com Readers

A little bit of notoriety is nice, especially when someone uses us as the authority on DUI world records. Creswell Hall alumni all over the nation are mighty proud on this day. Thank you, Kansas City.

If anyone is interested, the article they are linking to is this one written by Dante in May of 2006 about a Lithuanian truck driver who was cited for DUI and blew a 0.727 BAC.

I am pleased to give additional referrals for additional DUI research, just in case any of our new Kansas City readership makes it out Georgia's way at some point: in Athens, you will want to visit a bar on Washington Steet. It is called Copper Creek and you will want to be there between the hours of 12am and 1am EDT. On Island City, head on over to Mullet Bay on Mallory Street during the same hours. It would be good idea to book a hotel nearby these locations, just in case your additional research gets a little out of hand.

If you're looking for the graduate level research in DUI studies, well, I'm in New Orleans these days so I'll let you know in about two or three years.

Thursday, April 19, 2007

Survivor Tree

History. Repeating.

12 years ago this morning, 168 people were killed in a terrible roar in a place called Oklahoma City. It was the worst act of domestic terrorism, and the second deadliest act of terrorism ever on US soil.

Most of the time, I don't think about what happened to the men, women and children of the Alfred P. Murrah Federal Building. Then on days like today, I think: Lord, has it been 12 years since then?

This week especially, it serves as a reminder that we've been here before, and, Lord help us, we'll be here again.

Related: Thank God it wasn't bombs... and the online profiles of the victims. Disclaimer: I didn't click on a single link in the second one.

Wednesday, April 18, 2007

The Other Frenzy

Yesterday was everyone's favorite day of the year. Yes, yesterday was that magical day when taxes were due. This was the first year I beat out the standard deduction so I'm happy about that but compared to my federal tax burden, I really feel I'm not getting my money's worth out of Georgia state income taxes.

I don't know about you guys (and gals) but I use the good old postal service to deliver my tax documents and payments for me. Some people insist on using that new-fangled internet to e-file their returns. Those same people who decided to use TurboTax as the method of e-filing yesterday were in for quite a shock when the e-file system melted down on them.

Intuit (the people who make TurboTax) are telling us that they're working on a deal with the IRS to consider the returns on time even though they aren't but since the people trying to e-file didn't know that beforehand, I imagine tensions were quite high in many households. Given the rather static percentages of people who file at the deadline and a predictable though growing percentage of that number who elect to e-file, at the very least Intuit should've been able to handle the load.

One thing I don't get is that apparently people kept trying to e-file and then just gave up when it didn't work. Why the heck didn't you just print out your return (a function which was still working) and then head to your nearest post office that was staying open late for tax day?! Good grief. Take some responsibility for yourself! Don't just put forth minimal effort and then complain when things don't work out for you.

Here's the forum for all the PO'd TurboTax customers. What's really sad is that the forum was working when the e-file was (and apparently still may be) down. I would be quite irate if I couldn't do something important like e-file my taxes while the stupid message board was working without issue.

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

The Frenzy

Woke up this morning. Turned on the TV & fired up the computer. I knew what would be there, but I was hoping for something different. I don't know why. Though terrible things happen, it is shameful to see how people in the news are acting today. At least a few folks are calling for rationality and calm.

Hey, Jenny Slater! sums it up well:
All I'm asking is that we spend 24 hours to actually pray, to ponder how we can keep from being part of this, to think about all the times we've committed acts of physical or even emotional violence out of selfishness -- and to make a pact with ourselves that next time we'll pay a little more attention to that voice of conscience inside our heads asking us what that violence is going to accomplish. Twenty-four hours to, for crying out loud, ponder the victims as people and not as potential tools for demonizing someone we don't agree with. There will be plenty of opportunity later on for arguing over the political issues, and plenty of people lining up to do it. Do you really need to join that queue?

Monday, April 16, 2007

Blacksburg

Years ago. I remember walking through the Creswell Hall lobby and wondering why everyone was slowing down to look at the TV's. I slowed down to look at the TV's. The breaking news splayed across the bottom of the screen said "Littleton, Colorado".

Now this, and the words say "Blacksburg, Virginia."

In the end, there will be survivor's guilt, images of men with badges dragging bloodied broken bodies from classrooms, wails of young people who lost friends and parents who lost children. The talking heads will have a contest to see who can attach the most appropriate adjectives. There will be no appropriate adjectives. Politicians will offer as much as they can, which is nothing much, at this point. This group will blame one thing or the other, blame will look to be assigned. People will cry out for justice that can never done.

Most of the time, the monsters are content to take from the shadows, and we don't have to think about it, really. Sometimes they take from us loudly, forcing us to rally around our torches for a while, for the warmth.

On days like today, the monsters reach up and slap us in the face so hard all we can be is angry and rage at how helpless we are, wondering why the world just can't be a better place than it is, because sometimes all the vigilance and plans and defenses we create just aren't enough to keep the monsters away.

Sometimes all we can do is promise ourselves to spend what time we have here a little more wisely. Me? I think I'm gonna go see if my cousins are playing in their new grass.

War on Really Real History

Viral Emails Again Destroying Common American History

So, the other day I get this email from one of my best friends:

Who is Barack Obama?- Interesting Who is Barack Obama?
U. S. presidential candidate, Barack Hussein Obama was born in Honolulu, Hawaii, to Barack Hussein Obama, Sr., a black Muslim from Nyangoma-Kogel, Kenya and Ann Dunham, a white atheist from Wichita, Kansas. Obama's parents met at the University of Hawaii. When Obama was two years old, his parents divorced. His father returned to Kenya. His mother then married Lolo Soetoro, a radical Muslim from Indonesia. When Obama was 6 years old, the family relocated to Indonesia. Obama attended a Muslim school in Jakarta. He also spent two years in a Catholic school. Obama takes great care to conceal the fact that he is a Muslim. He is quick to point out that, "He was once a Muslim, but that he also attended Catholic school." Obama's political handlers are attempting to make it appear that Obama's introduction to Islam came via his father, and that this influence was temporary at best. In reality, the senior Obama returned to Kenya soon after the divorce, and never again had any direct influence over his son's education. Lolo Soetoro, the second husband of Obama's mother, Ann Dunham, introduced his stepson to Islam. Obama was enrolled in a Wahabi school in Jakarta. Wahabism is the radical teaching that is followed by the Muslim terrorists who are now waging Jihad against the western world. Since it is politically expedient to be a Christian when seeking major public office in the United States, Barack Hussein Obama has joined the United Church of Christ in an attempt to downplay his Muslim background.


This email is certainly interesting, because it touches on almost every one of the 'culture warriors' turns of phrase to scare the crap out of their base and turn them out against the guy: muslim father (terrorist), atheist mother (angry man-hating liberal), interracial marriage (loose morals), divorce (loose morals), radical-muslim stepfather (terrorist), living abroad (terrorist, America hating), attendance at a Muslim school (terrorist), attendance at a Catholic school (papist, America hating), political handlers (member of political class), political expedient Christianity (non-real Christian because he doesn't agree with us).

I'm actually impressed they were actually able to get all that in in one short email, but it don't stop there: "Wahabi school in Jakarta. Wahabism is the radical teaching that is followed by the Muslim terrorists who are now waging Jihad against the western world."

First of all, geniuses, it is Wahabbism. Second of all, the main sponsor states of Wahabbism, the "radical teaching" of those "now waging Jihad against the western world" are our 'allies in the GWOT': Saudi Arabia, Pakistan and Afganistan. Matter of fact, Wahabbism didn't really get exported from the Arabian Peninsula until the Soviet invasion of Afganistan.

Indonesia's biggest problem during that time - like most developing nations at that time - wasn't radical Islam, it was radical Communism v Reactionism as folks were slaughtering each other on those ideological grounds as opposed to religious ones.

Don'tcha miss them good ole days?

Anyway, I bring this up now - long after the initial hoopla over this nonsense because it came into my email inbox just last week, as the result of a well meaning friend emailing a well meaning friend who emailed my cranky ass about it. He has been "reply button flogged" already, the step right before "reply all button flogged." Like the well intentioned individuals who emailed me the "Germany didn't attack the US in WWII" sewage and the "North Dakota had it worse than New Orleans" filth*, I can't stand that smart people are just falling for it.

I say this again and again, the war on history being waged for political gain in this country is causing us to loose hold on reality and wander into realms of fantasy. We're not burning books, we're just not believing them because the viral emails are telling us not to. I hope I am not the only one shocked by this.

*Which is now remaking the rounds, AGAIN as the "Colorado Biblical Blizzard of 44 inches vs New Orleans" email.

Update April 17th, 00:03 AM CDT

Oh yeah, the new "historical blizzard" nonsense can be traced to those serious fact checkers over there at Townhall.com, or their blog anyway. Look at the date, posted 2007 - January.

Now go and look at this. Dated April 2006.

Makes me wonder if any of these blizzards actually happened.

That's right, y'all, just in case you didn't notice, the people who are arguing against Federal disaster help are lying liars, inventing make believe northern storms and bad analogies to lead the American public astray via viral emails.

Un. Be. Leive. Able. Well, it was until about August 29th, 2005. Since I grew up so close to Florida and the Carolinas, I thought the United States of America, the most powerful nation in the history of mankind, would do what it always does for disaster victims, despite geographic propensity for said disasters to reoccur: rebuild quickly and efficiently. I mean, I simply assumed that's what would happen because that's what they do for Florida and the Carolinas every two years.

I never got CC'ed the executive order that the whole 'Federal Union' thing was dissolved in the event of unfortunate and expensive disasters. As a Southerner, I would have remembered that one, I assure you. Bells ringing, indeed. Townhall, however, they were in that mailing, with a first edition, autographed copy, apparently.

I sure hope Island City and Savannah are paying attention right now, because we got less than 50 days to come up with the 'what happens if it lands in our backyard' plan, and we lose everything between the St John's River and Victory Drive.

Sunday, April 15, 2007

Rough Combo

So, usually I think the interweb is one of the best things evar. I don't really know how I'd live without it, and I really can't force my memory to comprehend ye olde dayes of Tandy, dot matrix printers and 8-bit video games. The Revolution will not be televised, but I know the Contra Mantra code that will be broadcast on all frequencies and channels to set it off, and it will be OK because it will give me 30 lives, endless continues and my red flannel shirt back. But I digress...

I know such days existed, there are pictures of me from back then, so it must be true. It is comprehending those days that is difficult.

How-%@#!ing-ever, comprehending the days lived since we started archiving information on the internet is easier. Sometimes too easy, if one were to ask my humble opinion.

How do I know this? Because I was in a band throughout 2004 and 2005 that did some serious damage to livers and eardrums in the Southern Coastal regions of Georgia. Many legendary nights were lived, many personal epics were played out, and I had a chance to shed some of my usual goofiness and look cool for a change.

But...because whiskey is a hell of a drug, because I was not the photographer, because a certain lead guitarist has no idea what looks cool on the internet, and because this blog is now over two years old (and I didn't even notice), today I ran across this picture on another website.



This band, which played honkey tonks, Brantley County weddings, a low down and dirty but oh, so glorious Island City tourist trap and in a swamp near the Altamaha River; this band which almost started three beautiful riots of the yearning rock and roll faithful - once in response to the emergence of plastic beads purchased in New Orleans; this band, which had women using microphone stands for pole dancing;...this band, only has online pictures from when we played the drummer's sister's 50th birthday party.

The pictures exist, it must be true.

This physical evidence is so glaringly incongruous to the stories I have told, I feel I am forced to share the photo in the interests of full disclosure. One day, I will be telling stories to younglings about how, back in the day, I was in an awesome rock band that did all these awesome things, and the brother will emerge with this picture, printed straight from the hallowed halls of archivia and claim "oh yeah, don't he look soooo cool. 50th birthday parties get sooo out of hand." I can even hear his tone of voice. I know he will do this. Asshole. This is a preemptive strike.

Saturday, April 14, 2007

Interstate Love Song

Since I now live in a completely different part of the South, trips back east take on a more epic quality. Eight days ago, I left New Orleans at 7:30am with an itenerary that included Birmingham, Atlanta, Duluth, Athens, Augusta, Columbia, Savannah and Island City. I am far more tired than I thought I would be. Though this driving tour was nominally called a 'vacation' - that being the absence of work in exchange for money - I had a terribly good time, and have been locked somewhere between a state of food coma and sweet tea sugar shock since about 1 pm CDT last Friday.

Things I learned on this trip:

1. Speed limit respect is fascinating as one travels from place to place. There is a great deal of respect for the speed limit in Mississippi, the exact speed limit. This can be infuriating. This respect does not carry over into Alabama, as evidenced by the clouds of black smoke from accellerating semi-trucks as soon as the border is crossed. The home of Talladega is also the home of green flag interstate racing, apparently. You can always tell who is from Georgia, because we are all driving 7 to 9 miles over the speed limit (excepting drivers from metro Atlanta, and drivers of trucks jacked up over seven feet off the ground - they can go much, much faster). It is legal to do this in Georgia, except in the presence of State Troopers, and we feel this interpretation of the law should apply everywhere. South Carolinians have the same sort of thing, but theirs is 3-4 miles above the posted speed limit. Pansises. Florida has about 1 state trooper for every 20 visible cars traveling on the interstate, but speed limit respect decreases every mile west of Tallahassee. This perhaps is due to the proximity of Alabama. Back into Louisiana, there is no speed limit respect, but there is pothole respect, as one may acheive a very high and illegal interstate cruising speed, but may actually disentegrate their vehicle in the process.

2. Atlantic Station, a 'town center' built on top of the old Atlantic Steel facility close to downtown Atlanta, looks awesome.

3. When planning a wedding, one should keep in mind what happens when one side does not drink, and invites a few people, and the other side does drink and invites a lot of people. Thank goodness everyone was 'cool people' otherwise things could have gotten out of hand.

4. When attending a wedding of someone you used to date in high school, one should make careful note of when the 'high school photo album' arrives. If there was ever an argument about why it is good to have long hair in high school and a beard in your late 20's, I have a new, personal, exhibit 'A.'

5. When meeting me and my brother for the first time, even with my brother dressed far classier than myself, women tend to continue to shamelessly flirt with me. Finding out that he is in law school and I roll burritos changes this situation so dramatically, so quickly, that it will be worth revisiting again and again.

Especially when he is oblivious to what is happening.

6. Once you have been sleeping on an air mattress for four straight months, sleeping on a real bed will knock you out cold for up to ten unexpected hours.

7. You do become that cranky old alumni you complained about during undergrad in as short as five years after graduation. Also, "aren't all the undergrads so cuuuute," and "I feel like I'm back in middle school" are never comments they like to hear said out loud.

8. Columbia, South Carolina has one of the coolest college radio stations I've ever heard. This is quite surprising, considering the whole Hootie and the Blowfish thing.

9. The best place to cross the state line into Georgia is driving US Hwy 17 south out of Carolina and into Savannah. At night.

10. If your permanent residency is in Georgia, but you work in another state, you will owe Georiga money come tax time. Though this is probably true of every state, and is probably something that everyone but me knows, it sounds like something only the Empire would do, and is infuriating to discover unexpectedly.

Friday, April 06, 2007

The Great Congressional Oops

I do wonder how long it will take for the Democrats to browbeat this one under the rug?

The author of the article brings up a very, VERY, interesting point with regard to Speaker Pelosi's trip to Syria. If this was anything other than a fact-finding mission, which it would appear it was not, and since we can surmise that President Bush did not give Speaker Pelosi any semblence of authorization to negotiate on his/our behalf, this does have the smell of a federal crime.

Disney Putting the Fairy in 'Fairy Tale Weddings',

Being that it's Easter Sunday this weekend, I thought i'd get a head start on my middle-management position in hell with this headline/article.

Now, I won't take a position on what Disney is doing, suffice to say, they're a private enterprise, providing a service, and not attempting to circumvent, rewrite, or otherwise change the existing state statute.

But I just couldn't resist the headline...

Wednesday, April 04, 2007

Food Coma

Sorry, y'all. Posting has been light due to food and music and cartoons. In that order. Let me explain:

You see, on Saturday night, the Dangerous One was kind enough to host the New Orleans Geek Dinner III, where I got to meet (in person) many of the NOLA bloggers. There was some volume of wine at this dinner, but that was nothing compared to the sheer metric tonnage of food. Compliments may understate the experience to my 'back east' readership, so I am forced to explain through analogy: The only place I have seen more quality potluck style grub was the Auburn v UGA 2005 Tailgate to End All Tailgates in Athens, Georgia. Those of you who know what that weekend was like don't need any more explanation. Those of you who don't, we'll just say that the Geek Dinner III fits in this boy's lexicon solidly in the "legendary" category, in a Hi-Fidelity Top Fives-style list. Demsome cats who can cook who'n cook round heah, and I've been around the buffet enough times to know.

It was an absolute pleasure to finally meet and speak with many of the NOLA bloggers I have read so much from in the past months. I was introduced to so many people that to call it a blur would be an understatement, but I retained more than I thought I would. Being able to put faces and voices to so many folks that I read about on a pretty much daily basis is surreal in a way I never, ever imagined.

Some things I learned:

From Leigh: There is a strange cult-like commercial experience amongst the married and child-having population that is called Ikea. I have heard tell of this phenomena before from friends and family in the past. It apparently has something to do with sacred catalogs and annual pilgrimages to Atlanta or Houston. As a single male of the species who fears domestication, I now fear this "Ikea."

From G-Bitch: If young children ran the United Nations, the world would be in better shape. Though I more likely than not follow a wildly different thought process on this subject matter, I am in unanimous agreement with the conclusion.

From Ashley: Pneumonia sucks really, really bad. But not even that can keep a man from rocking a kick ass bowling shirt at a party.

From Morwen: Surfing is an transcendental experience for folks of all demographics.

From Mr. Clio, there is more than one way to repopulate New Orleans.

From Sophmom: It is difficult to explain New Orleans to folks back east, even if you live there.

From Maitri: If at-risk kids can set up their own myspace pages, then they have the technological competence to go further - into civilian media and civic involvement. The rub is getting them to buy into a worldview that looks past tomorrow and cast a net beyond their own circle of myspace friends.

From Dangerblond: All other discussion stops when the cool chicks start talking about fuzzy handcuffs. I'm strangely comfortable with that.

Roundups and mentions here, here, here, here, and here. I'm sure there are others elsewhere that I have not yet read. Who needs society pages, really?

Shenanigans, of the First Order

This, boys and girls, is why they call it dope.

paT and I had a brief discourse about this article this morning. Quoth paT, "Hand those kids some shovels. It is only 56 days till hurricane season and Daddy needs a new set of levees.".

From my viewpoint, high upon the pillar of unassailable unassailability, I think these morons are lucky the Secret Service didn't just out and out shoot them all. While I wish that the administration of American University would just go ahead and expel all of these fools, in keeping with American University politics, they are more likely to all get full academic scholarships, and tenure...

Sunday, April 01, 2007

Sunday Fluff

Some interesting YouTube presentations from Hey, Jenny Slater. Playing the first two as per instructions, I could not stop laughing. It's what drinking a fifth of bourbon feels like, too.