Sunday, November 04, 2012

An American Voter's Revenge

After four years of hearing about the birth certificate, Kenyan anti-colonialism, apologizing for America, the Ground Zero Mosque, the long form birth certificate, spiking the football about Osama bin Laden, death panels, shaking down BP, the state of Hawai'i's conspiracy to falsify the birth certificate, you lie, Reverend Wright, Black Panthers and the Justice Department, Fast and the Furious and the Justice Department, keeping the President's name off the ballot because of the birth certificate, Shirley Sherrod, ACORN, voting fraud, the "unconstitutional" ACA, Michelle's racist thesis, you didn't build that, gutting welfare reform, the "Obamaphones," and "Obama didn't have anything to do with Osama bin Laden everyday, all day, on Fox News, talk radio, all over the internet, in Facebook posts and chain emails, we actually entered the Presidential election year.

At which point the volume got turned up on all of that. Not content to let those narratives speak for themselves, we started to hear about how "legitimate rape" does not cause pregnancy, or when it does, how it is really a "gift from God" to women who "rape easy." News sources who had followed the birth certificate conspiracy with such dedication had to break into their coverage to talk about the Benghazi conspiracy.

And why shouldn't I trust the purveyors of all that information when it comes to taxes, energy independence, and foreign policy? Well, it looks like my brain has been poisoned by the demon-spawn theories of evolution, the Big Bang, and stuff like math. Doesn't matter, either, as the vote I cast on Tuesday could condemn my soul to the firey pit of Satan. And if they're good enough to know the mind of Heaven above, who am I to share my doubts in their ability to govern?

Because remember, folks, according to Republican political advertising, I am an America-hating, baby-killing, terrorist-sympathizer who, with help from my illegal immigrant friends and union thugs, will follow our illegitimately elected, Kenyan anti-colonialist President to turn this nation into a communist economy with a sharia legal code based on the homosexual agenda.

Or I could just vote "sanity" on Tuesday and pull the lever for Obama. Sorry if I find that some small measure of revenge against bullshit.